A drink driver lost two front teeth when caught for the fifth time after falling asleep at the wheel and hitting parked cars.
Engineer Christopher Sulley reported his dental troubles in a text to a friend, after admitting he did not know where he had crashed.
He was given a five-year driving ban and a 14-week prison term, suspended for a year.
District Judge John Temperley told him: “The real aggravating issue is your record which is absolutely appalling.
“Three years is the minimum ban. But with your record it is not long enough so it will be five years in length.
“I am giving you a chance, some would not,” he told Sulley, 38, of Cavendish Crescent, Stapleford.
Nottingham Magistrates’ Court heard that Sulley was driving a Hyundai car at 1am on October 10 on Pasture Road, Stapleford, after being in a pub.
A friend began to receive text messages, starting with ‘I’ve had an accident’.
When she asked where he was, Sulley replied: “I don’t know. The car is in the middle of the road. I have walked off. I have lost my two front teeth.”
Sulley pleaded guilty to driving with 186 microgrammes of alcohol in 100 millilitres of blood, 106 over the legal limit.
His car had hit others which were parked at the roadside. The noise woke witnesses.
Sanjay Jerath, prosecuting, told the court: “He remembers driving on Pasture Road and believes he fell asleep at the wheel.
“This is his fifth alcohol related driving offence.”
The first was in 1998 when he received a one-year driving ban. The last was in 2008 when he was disqualified for four years but this was later shortened.
One of the five convictions was for failing to supply a sample when suspected of drink driving.
When questioned, Sulley first said he had drank one pint of Strongbow cider. But he later said he had downed ‘a couple of pints of Strongbow earlier that evening and had not been sleeping or eating properly’.
Sulley represented himself in court and said he suffered an upset at the time, telling the judge: “I had not been sleeping properly.
“This has shook me and has got me back at work and doing everything properly. I did like to have a drink, I admit it.
“Since the accident, I have hardly had a couple of pints and that is it. I apologise. I got a job through an agency and have been offered a permanent position,” he added.
If Sulley completes a course on the perils of drink-driving, the latest ban will be reduced by a quarter.
He must also do 200 hours community work, pay £85 prosecution costs and a Government surcharge of £80.